Sunil Patel tells us five facts about cryptocurrency that everyone should know. First of all, he gives his definition in an interesting way.
‘My name is Sunil Patel, I am a broadcaster and future billionaire. This year I am busy doing my Radio Four show ‘Sunil Patel: An Idiot’s Guide to Cryptocurrency’. Before doing the show I thought crypto was basically just something that people with problems talked about at events. But now I have the chance to be one of those experts.’
He shared this important information with us like this:
1. Everyone can understand cryptocurrency but not everyone can use it
I started my cryptocurrency journey by converting all my pounds into Bitcoin. I felt quite comfortable doing this because Bitcoin is just like normal money. Instead of being controlled by banks and governments, the currency is controlled by a decentralized network of computers called a ‘blockchain’.
While I was happy to spend my money on the web, I quickly realized that Bitcoin could be used to buy drugs online, which was something I had never tried. You cannot use Bitcoin for your weekly purchases. I know this because people have laughed at me at a store.
To replenish my dwindling stock of chocolate biscuits, I had to go all the way to El Salvador. Along with having one of the highest homicide rates in the world, El Salvador is famous for recently introducing Bitcoin as one of its official currencies. Unfortunately, only 30 percent of people own a smartphone. There are great volcanoes to be enjoyed though.
2 . NFT is just a receipt
As a comedian, I’m already somewhat of an artist, so I decided to venture into the online art market. Although I keep the walls of my flat pretty bare by choice, except for a ‘Scarface’ poster I’ve had since 1996.
I am known to enjoy looking at great art, such as a painting of a naked woman or a painting of a clothed woman. Or a Van Gogh painting in France.
When I bought a photo on NFT of a dog riding a skateboard, I was told I would not be given the photo. I only own the transactions made on the blockchain.
Transactions on the blockchain. it’s fine. People pay millions of dollars for a single line of code that says ‘You spent millions of dollars.’ This is all just for show! If that’s not art, I don’t know what is.
3. The vulnerable part of cryptocurrency is people
One of the challenges on my show involved cracking a ‘crypto wallet’, which the layman might think of as a wallet where you keep your cryptocurrency. These wallets are usually heavily password protected.
Some people have even forgotten their passwords. They are now unable to access their own wallets, resulting in the loss of millions of dollars.
Having a crypto wallet can be like having a digital ‘Fort Knox’ in your pocket. The only difference is that it can disappear behind the Fort Knox couch.
What lesson did I learn? Owning cryptocurrency is like keeping your money under your mattress. And then you ask yourself how safe is this ass? And how safe is a person sleeping on a mattress? I personally sleep like a baby, please don’t rob me.
A crime is still a crime even if you do it for laughs
By the end of my show, I was desperate to capture the means of production so I decided to introduce my own currency. If there was such a thing, it was very simple. I met a guy in the chat room for about 20 minutes, who I then knocked out. When it comes to cryptocurrency, anyone can print their own money. it’s fine. With just a couple of clicks it can be turned into reality!
A key difference between cryptocurrency and hard money is that crypto can have multiple uses, or even additional benefits. For example, it could represent tickets to an event or a stake in a company.
Imagine if you had a five pound note in your wallet that took you to a nightclub. Well, it does, but what if that nightclub were on the Internet? Trust me, it’s very heartwarming.
Annoyingly, while selling back my cryptocurrency I told several lies about its usefulness and a lawyer advised me that I had committed fraud, so I was forced to stop. You win some, you lose some.
5. All money is fake
If you’re still struggling to understand the fascinating world of crypto, maybe you need to calm down. Remember, all money is fictitious, from rocks to paper to gold to digital bits, money only has value if you believe it has value.
I think the Governor of the Bank of England must say a little prayer every night before going to bed, for the money rail to start.
According to him, ‘I do the same for cryptocurrency.’ So does everyone else. And tonight, you can too.
The value of crypto, like normal money, depends on stupid people believing in stupid things. You trade pieces of paper every single day for good causes to buy food and bus rides or other necessities of life.
It’s all nonsense! The world is a lie! How hard is it to understand?
